The Day Prayer Became Enjoyable

I grew up in a Christian home with a family that went to church every Sunday. Prayer was a regular part of my life. My mom prayed the Aaronic blessing over me every night when I was little, and I was encouraged to have a "devotional time" when I got older. But prayer was also a real mystery to me. I wasn't brought up to believe that God would ever say anything to me personally. And in general, I was given the expectation that whatever was going to happen was destined to happen, which meant that prayer was more about voicing concerns and requests to God than it was about expecting anything to change in response to my prayers.

Middle school and high school were dark times for me. Depression, anxiety, rage, and seasons of suicidal and violent tendencies made my mother desperate to see transformation in my life. She began to call on trusted friends and asked them if they would unite in daily prayer until I was healed. Sure enough, God answered their prayers. Long story short, I found myself in an old prayer chapel repeating one simple prayer for thirty minutes: "God is my father." I had randomly found myself on a spiritual retreat, and I was being taught how to pray. On this particular day, we were instructed to take a simple truth and "pray it until you really believe it." I fully expected an unremarkable time of boring prayer. But that afternoon, I was saved, delivered, and made "joyful in the house of prayer" (Is. 56:7). I was awestruck by God's adopting love as I realized He is really my Father.

Prayer was enjoyable that day. I immediately became an intern with a weekly schedule including thirty hours of prayer, and I didn't think twice about it. I was just amazed that God would want to spend time with me! I realized that God enjoys me, delights in me–likes me. Sure those times of prayer could be boring sometimes, and sometimes I was just having an off day and couldn't concentrate. But I always enjoy my prayer time, even when I'm bored, because I know God's always delighting in it. Not a single moment of prayer is wasted or meaningless because we touch the heart of the Father, delighting the Ancient of Days, and giving joy to his heart by being present with him. What that ultimately means is that prayer never has to be unenjoyable again.

#prayer